Happy Monday, readers!  I’m so very excited to welcome author Barbara Silkstone to Austenesque Reviews today.  While Barbara Silkstone has been busy writing and publishing for many years, it is only in the past year that she began publishing her Mister Darcy series.  The first book in this series – Mister Darcy’s Dogs (which I will be reviewing later this week!) and the most recently published volume of this series is – Pansy Cottage (Book 4) which came out a month ago!  Barbara is visiting today to share a enticing excerpt from Mister Darcy’s Dogs with you all! I hope you enjoy! 

LEMONADE FROM LEMONS

By Barbara Silkstone

I am often asked how much of me is written into my characters. The answer is: a lot.

I have learned to make lemonade from the lemons in my life.

As I embarked on my entrance in to JAFF I was thrilled to discover that much like my Wendy Darlin Tomb Raider character, Lizzie Bennet shared many of my more laughable afflictions. It was easy to imbue Lizzie with a fierce determination and two left feet, quite similar to my own quirks.

Lizzie, like Wendy, cannot scratch her nose and walk at the same time, and yet both can deliver a scathing one-liner with the accuracy of a circus knife thrower. The professional narrator for my first Wendy Darlin book could barely finish her narration as she developed a serious case of the giggles during one of the scenes.

Giggling Blooper Clip from Wendy and the Lost Boys

On that note I shall leave you to enjoy this excerpt from Mister Darcy’s Dogs – Book I in my Mister Darcy series of comedic mysteries.

Scene: Lizzie Bennet’s first and only foxhunt. Caroline Bingley has been asked to introduce Lizzie to the horse Lizzie is to ride in the hunt. Lizzie, unfortunately, is terrified of horses. Add to her predicament, Lizzie has borrowed Jane’s much larger riding outfit to follow Darcy in the hunt. Caroline, being Caroline, goes out of her way to put Lizzie on the wrong horse. And we are off!

Chapter Nineteen

In trying to keep up with Caroline’s leggy strides I quickly developed a limp from the lumps of extra pant-leg fabric wadded in the top of my borrowed boots. The thick cloth pressed against my wellie-wounds causing me to reconsider this entire event. But the thought of the positive publicity and Darcy’s dark eyes caused me to put my best hobble forward.

Caroline led me past a line of colorful tents sheltering both perfect and paunchy people sipping champagne and nattering, their flapping jaws reminding me of cows chewing cuds. They appeared to have lots to say I wondered if any of it had any value or if it was merely the idle rich and their idle chatter.

Could that be Mister Darcy’s dark secret? He was a member of the idle rich? Hardly seemed cloak-and-dagger. The man wore his financial statement on his sleeve despite being un-Google-able. Many prominent people employed Internet specialists to cleanse their names from the worldwide web. I could understand the fear of kidnappers and swindlers.

As we approached the stable Caroline summoned a young blond boy. “We’ll need your assistance in preparing a horse for Miss Bennet.”

I seethed at Miss. But I knew she would never refer to me as Doctor Bennet. I shuffled into the stable two steps behind her and forced a smile. She goose-stepped down the passage between the stalls. I followed, my gait more wounded duck than goose.

Jane’s helmet slipped on my sweaty head and fell over my eyes. I poked at the front edge lifting it just in time to see a rustic plaque on the door of a stall.

The sign had my assigned horse’s name Violet on it. A second glance, I saw that it had been misspelled as Violent. I smirked. The high and mighty Barkleys were spelling deficient.

I stepped up to the stall gate remembering what I’d read on the Internet last night about horsemanship. Fix the animal in the eye with a masterful gaze. I proceeded to do just that.

The horse avoided eye contact until forced to meet my kindly regard. The animal lowered its nuzzle, its dark rolling eyes said Beware. The horse pulled back its huge horse lips exposing the biggest set of teeth I’d ever seen. And it wasn’t smiling.

My knees shook and my palms grew wet. I could not let the animal know of my fear. “Hello Violet. You have a lovely name. I’m Lizzie.” My hand shook like the last leaf of autumn as I reached out to pet its nose, aiming high above its teeth.

Violet stomped the ground, reared up, clobbering her front hooves on the stall door.

I jumped back. Why would Darcy assign me such a horse? I could not fathom the intent behind his dastardly plan. Underneath his altered demeanor did he still harbor snob resentment?

“That horse is not for riding! He’s for breeding,” the young man yelped. “I can’t let you take him out!”

Relief flooded over me.

Caroline whipped her whip. “Young man, you will do as you are told. Mister Darcy has requested this horse for this lady. Lord Barkley wills it to be so.”

I caught Caroline swallowing a smile as I turned to him. “I’m to ride a horse called Violet.” But as I spoke the big brut let out a horse-scream smothering my words. I wasn’t sure he heard the name.

The stable hand turned white, his eyes as large as ostrich eggs. “I’ve never saddled this one.”

“Just help her mount. She’s an experienced horsewoman,” Caroline snapped.

I inched away from the stall looking to the young man for help. “I was expecting a she-horse. An old mare, perhaps?” I said.

Caroline smacked me on the back sending the helmet falling over my eyes again. “No wonder Darcy has taken a liking to you. You are so funny. Now hurry!”

She nudged me toward the horse being bridled by the quivering boy. “I must get back to my camera crew. In case you haven’t thought of it, your debut on BBC – Society at Play may be just the ticket to build your little doctoring business.”

I pushed the hat back on my head the better to see the animal. Not Caroline, the other animal. The horse remained the biggest four-legged creature in my history although I had seen an elephant in the London Zoo.

“Are you sure this is the horse Darcy wishes for me?”

Caroline flicked her whip against her boot. “He could not wish you a more thrilling mount. Now remember to smile for the cameras. I shall make sure they are on you.”

As I eased toward the animal I happened to glance at the underbelly. This was clearly not a mare. And unless the horse fancied flowers, I doubted his name was Violet.

As Caroline strutted away, the stable boy tied Violent Violet to a post and brought around a set of wooden steps. My knees knocked into each other and the butterflies in my tummy had turned into vultures.

The hunting horn sounded. The thought that Derby and Squire, let alone Mister Darcy were counting on me prodded me into the saddle. That and the stable boy’s hands on my derriere.

I settled my right leg over the saddle slipping as the cuff of the jacket sleeve slid between my grip and the leather. My feet dangled.

The hounds began to howl and the horses clop, clopped as they left the paddock headed into the field. I panicked. I’d come this far by mounting the beast, I must follow through and not lag behind. Besides, I had no idea where they were headed and Derby and Squire needed me.

“Please hurry and adjust the foot-thingies,” I said.

The stable boy bent to his task and worked on the foot-thingies getting them up till they were in their highest position. As my feet slipped into the… the… stirrups, that’s what they are called, my life definitely passed before my eyes.

My left foot slipped out of the stirrup and then my right followed. I gripped the reigns, which felt as useless as embroidery thread on a buffalo, not that I’d ever ridden one. I looked down and felt a wash of vertigo.

My boots dangled free as I tried to find the pedals… no, the stirrups. I grabbed the front of the saddle with both hands and clung to the useless reigns. Take hold of yourself, Lizzie. You are a trained dog psychologist. You did not work for your degree to die under the hooves of a horse called Violet.

I leaned down and whispered in Violet’s ear. “You are a very nice horse, indeed. And I am a very nice person. If you kill me they may send you away to horse-prison and take away your stud fees. Think how lonely you would be.”

Violet’s ears moved back. Good. He was listening.

“Shake your head if you understand me.”

He shook his head and trotted from the stable at a nice easy cantor. I sat up straight apprehensive with the feeling of nothing but two thin pieces of leather to control a thousand pounds of muscle. I though it best to think of Violet as a rather large dog.

My trusty mount and I joined the Barkley Hunt much to the astonishment of Caroline Bingley.

Listen to a sample of Mister Darcy’s Dogs HERE!

Boy, is Lizzie brave!  I don’t know about you, but I can wait to see what happens next!  Will Violet/Violent continue to be docile?  Will Lizzie successfully foil Caroline’s plans for catastrophe?

Other books in the Mister Darcy series:

 

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GIVEAWAY TIME!!!

Because she is super awesome and generous, Barbara brings 3 editions (1 ebook – open worldwide, 1 audiobook – US/UK only, and 1 paperback – US only) of Mister Darcy’s Dogs with her today to giveaway to 3 luck winners!

    

To enter this giveaway leave a comment, question, or some love for Barbara below!

• This giveaway is open worldwide with some restrictions (audiobook US/UK only, paperback US only).  Thank you, Barbara!
• This giveaway ends April 27th!