Angie Kroll has once again amazed me with her many talents!  Besides creating all theses beautiful graphics for my blog and fun games like MadLibs and Austenesque Millionaire, she now wrote a Twas the Night Before Christmas parody in the voice of Mrs. Jenkinson!  And what a sweet tale it is, we hope you enjoy!

Twas the night before Christmas here in Rosings Park,

Only footmen and cooks were awake in the dark.

Not a stocking was hung by the chimney with care.

Lady Catherine disapproves of displaying her ‘wares.’

Her daughter Anne slept snuggly in bed,

While visions of romance danced in her head.

I, Mrs. Jenkinson, in my gown and my hat,

Snuck quickly downstairsfor a well-deserved night cap.

When outside Anne’s room, there rose such a clatter,

I refilled my glass, then saw what’s the matter.

Away from the library, I flew like a flash,

Almost spilling my brandy and tearing my sash!

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a man dressed in red with a suitcase so near.

With a dimple and a smile so lively and quick,

I knewin a moment, it was our dear Colonel Fitz!

More dashing than Darcy, more daring than tame,

He entered her room, then whispered her name.

‘Awake, my dear Anne! Your lover awaits.

Gretna Green calls to us. We must not be late.

To the carriage below, we’ll leave at first light.

Please marry me, Anne. Come with me tonight!’

Anne’s eyes danced brightly as she sat up in bed.

‘Yes, my Fitzwilliam!’ On this night shall we wed!’

So down to the carriage, the couple they flew,

With luggage and blankets and love that was new.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw at the door

The Colonel grab Anne and kiss her once more.

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

Down the stairs Lady Catherine came in a bound.

She had no propriety – her clothes were a mess.

The footmen looked shocked at the state of her dress!

Her cheeks, bloody red, her eyes black as night,

Lady Catherine’s fury, was an ominous sight.

‘Anne! Back to bed! This man’s not for you!’

Pemberley’s your birthright – only Darcy will do!’

Fitzwilliam stepped away from his beloved’s embrace,

And turned to his aunt and stepped close. Face-to-face.

‘Anne is my love, my life and my heart.

Not one more day shall we ever be apart.

Your protests and declarations are all wrong for Anne.

Only I can love her like no other man can.’

‘Please, Mother,’ said Anne, with despair in her voice.

‘You won’t see us marry – you leave me no choice.

Darcy was never the one I desired.

Only Richard has sparked my true love’s fire.’

Please bless our union this Christmas Eve,

Or we leave for Scotland and to Gretna Green.’

With a wink of her eye, and a twist of her head,

Lady Catherine De Bourgh turned to me and then said,

‘Mrs. Jenkinson, do you approve? Have you seen true love grow?

Does Fitzwilliam love my Anne? Are you sure? Do you know?’

I took a deep breath, my job on the line.

‘Lady Catherine, I promise you. He’s been loving and kind.

And no impropriety has ever occurred.

Adoration and devotion is all that I’ve heard.

She spoke not a word, but looked up in the sky,

Then whispered a prayer to the angels on high.

‘My dear Anne,’ she said, ‘your love and your bliss,

Is my hope and dream, and my dear Christmas wish.

Nephew! Bring Anne back inside of the hall,

It seems that soon you’ll be my new son-in-law.’

I stepped into the shadows and watched them embrace,

With a song in my heart, and smile on my face.

Grabbing my night cap, I slipped out of sight,

True love wins for all on this cold Christmas night.

~~~

Angie Kroll is a mother of two and a wife of one who enjoys exasperating the three of them every day.  She does part-time web and app development to supplement her book and movie obsessions.  Besides stalking her favorite authors, Angie can often be found whispering crazy ideas into her fellow bloggers’ heads, cheering for the Indiana Hoosiers, and trying to build her very own TARDIS.  This winter, look for Angie’s Kickstarter campaign to build an Austen RSS App to bring bloggers, authors, readers and fans of Jane Austen together.  Contact her on Facebook for more information!

 

Angie Kroll, Jakki Leatherberry, and yours truly meeting for the first time at the Decatur Book Festival!